(143) Release Those Negative Emotions: 2 Powerful Techniques

1st Technique: A Relaxing Tantrum

Ancient Greek plays were so filled with conflict, betrayal and death that they were called tragedies, but they gave their long-ago audiences something special. It was an experience so powerful they had a special word for it: catharsis (an emotional draining).

In our society, we tend toward the opposite word, stoicism (the endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feeling).

We are pressured to be less emotional and more logical; in fact, those who are too publicly emotional (whiny, angry, hurt) can be looked down upon, even shunned.

In such a setting, it is easy to end up pent up. And the more pent up we are, the harder it is on our body and quality of life.

Fortunately, there are ways to release that tension. Movies work if they are teary, scary, or action-packed, as can screaming in a sports or concert setting. A loud, laughing time with friends can help too, and tears are amazingly cathartic.

If you do not have enough cathartic events in your life, or if the thought of a release just appeals to you, consider having a good, old-fashioned tantrum.

I know you are too old, and tantrums were probably a big No! No! even when you were the right age, but we are just looking at this, right? No commitments in sight.

Imagine lying on the bed, on your back. Slowly begin to hit the bed with your fists, kick with your heels and say the word No.

Fists. Heels. No.

Increase the speed and effort of all three, including the volume of No! (screaming is encouraged).

The point of exhaustion will come quickly, and you will have done something extraordinary—an in-your-face, I-don’t-care explosion of a cathartic tantrum. And you will have released those negative feelings.

If this seems like something you want to try, ensure strenuous activity is okay with both you and your doctor. Then, take it easy the first time or two; keep yourself strain and pain-free.

And, most of all, enjoy the calm after the storm.

2nd Technique: Relax in Chaos

With this technique, you can go back to calm where ever you are, even lost in a chaotic situation; surprisingly, you can even use it while standing with your eyes open. And it only takes a bit of practice at home before using it out in the world.

Ready?

Start by choosing a memory, a happy, relaxed time. Then, choose a word (or two) that represents it. If you have trouble coming up with a memory (and some of us do), choose a word like calm, peace or sunset.

When you are ready, find a quiet place and a comfortable seat. Then, take a deep breath and breathe out any tension as you mentally think your word. Think it so quietly that it is barely there (just the word, not the memory). Make it a mental whisper.

And whisper it each time you breathe out.

With each breath that follows, let go of more tension and softly think your word.

Once relaxed, give yourself permission to stay there, and enjoy there, as long as you like.

Why use a word? After some practice, your word will bring a conditioned response, relaxing you sooner and deeper.

After practicing (6 sessions over 2 or 3 days ? ), you can use this technique anytime, even in the middle of absolute chaos: closed eyes are good but not necessary; a comfortable seat is nice but not needed.

If you find yourself standing amid bedlam, use breath and word to bring yourself back to calm. Every time your mind skips away, gently bring it back.

No chaos? You can refresh, even energize, yourself by finding a seat and closing your eyes for just seven minutes (although longer is better).

This is a gift you can give yourself daily, and with some practice, you might even find yourself skipping that extra cup of coffee or energy drink.

Note - If you only use this technique out in the world (in chaotic situations), you might occasionally need to strengthen its effects at home.

The McKinley Health Center reports "Regular practice of relaxation techniques will assist you in relieving muscle tension, reduce anxiety, and improve your overall well-being... on a daily basis (it) can produce, over time, a general feeling of relaxation and increased well being that benefits every area of your life."

6 Ways to Feel Better When Feeling Badly

# 1. Do it for YOU - When feeling 'down' or negative, be kind to yourself, especially when you do not feel like it.

Schedule less of what you do not want and more of what you do. And give yourself some extra treats (activities or healthy foods).

Note - If you do not have enough treats in your life, go on a search of discovery (locally and on Google): create a list of things you like to do, along with healthy treats. And each reward you discover can further raise your quality of life.

# 2. Activity - Movement can release a lot of negativity. Sure, you can go to the gym, but exercise can be hard and boring. Instead, do something fun and physical with friends, or dance at home to loud music while singing even louder. You can also beat on the bed and scream or use the technique at the top of this post.

# 3. WATER can cleanse more than the body. There were times I was feeling irritable/angry at whatever was going on in my life, took off my clothes and jumped in the river; and jumped right out (too cold), but I felt better and ready to be with my children.

No water nearby? Use the shower. Make it hot, then cold.

# 4. CONTACT - Holding/petting an animal can be very soothing, and human contact can be even better. Talk with someone who will listen, but make it clear that you are looking for empathy, not advice.

Or, instead of talking, ask them to sit with you silently, maybe with a hand on your shoulder or even a hug.

# 5. GIVE - You can also make yourself feel better by giving the next person you see a compliment; or, giving money/food to someone in need, or volunteering in a soup kitchen. You can be the one who benefits.

#6.) Feel Better - Permanently ?

No technique can completely stop negative thoughts and feelings; they keep coming up because they are trying to release. You can help them release by taking a moment to feel them; the more you feel, the more you release, and the freer you become -- bit by bit.

To let go of a negative feeling faster, here are two quick tips:

Claim them - Blaming keeps bitterness, and other negative emotions, deep within. Claiming these feelings as our own (even when it does not feel that way) gives us the foundation to let them go, once and for all.

After all, those feelings are within us, making them ours, like it or not.

Relax - Even the slightest negative feeling automatically tightens the body and restricts the breath. Negative emotions release faster when breathing out that tension.

Above all, keep going - Persistence is the way to free ourselves once and for all.

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