(138) How to Stop Feeling Irritated! By that Crazy Party, Jackhammer or Barking Dog.

A high-pitched barking suddenly shattered the quiet afternoon. The neighbor's new dog was yapping with a ridiculous ferocity.

And it continued for hours. I finally walked out and looked over the fence; he was barking at a bug!

The next morning, he started again early and kept at it on and off all day and into the night. He barked as if his life depended on it, and I found myself sending more than a few negative thoughts toward him, the neighbor, and life in general. I just could not understand why they were not bothered! Just shut him up!! Please!!!

And then, one afternoon, I realized he had not been barking for a while. Several days? And my next thought was, Did he die? Oh, please, God!

Later that day, I heard him barking again. The noise was just as piercing; he went on for just as long, and I realized he had never stopped! It was me that had stopped being bothered!

How did it happen, this miracle? I will tell you, but you will probably not like it.

Whether that irritating noise is a loud party, jackhammer or dog, it is not the noise that bothers us but the negative feelings they spark. If those feelings were not within us, we would not be feeling them. We would be at peace.

When we do feel them, we immediately tighten our body and breath to help us stop feeling that way. Many of us also (desperately?) distract ourselves by doing or thinking about something/anything else.

This is all called repression, and it leaves those negative feelings within us waiting for the next irritation and general upset.

Okay, here is the part you might not like. To eliminate those feelings and free ourselves, stop fighting, stop distracting and start feeling.

3 Steps to Peace

1) The first step is counter-intuitive: give the noise permission to be there; allow it to be loud and irritating (I know, crazy, but try it anyway).

2) The next step is to relax. You will find yourself tensed against the noise; release more of that tightness each time you breathe out.

* Note - Your mind will probably keep skipping away; gently bring yourself back to breathing out the tension.

3) And let go of those negative emotions by letting yourself feel them. Every moment you let yourself feel awful frees you that much more.

One immediate upside is that your inner strength will increase (because facing what we do not want to face always makes us stronger).

And there will come a time when that irritation/anger is gone. I promise.

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