(137) How to Love THAT Part of Your Body

My nose is too big, ears too wide, shoulders rounded, and feet dead flat. Other than that, I like myself. Well, except for the wrinkles, balding and that tendency toward a balloon belly.

It has always been easy to dislike myself. I do it without effort and certainly without conscious choice.

That said, I am glad I am a man because we guys only see handsome models for shaving creams, hair gels, and cars, but women are absolutely brainwashed, from their first Barbie to that tsunami of gorgeous models they saw before breakfast.

Did you know that you and I have something in common with those beautiful people? It is a personality shaped by what we think of ourselves. And any negative thoughts and feelings weigh heavily on the quality of our lives.

But how can we even begin to like, much less love, the imperfect part(s) of us?

Self-Acceptance

That imperfect part is not the problem; it is the negative thoughts and feelings that go with it; it is the embarrassment, shame, irritation and even anger when we notice it.

Those emotions feel awful, which is why we work so hard to ignore, even hide that part.

Without those feelings, that part would be unnoticeable; without those negative emotions, we would experience a boost in self-esteem (self-love) and self-confidence.

Here, then, are three steps to get rid of those feelings:

1.) Relax. Every time we feel negative, we automatically try to stop feeling that way by tightening the body. Instead, breathe out the tension with each breath.

2.) Step to a mirror, look directly at that part and feel the emotion. For some, this means feeling disgust, discouragement, anger, or even hate.

As you feel those emotions, breathe them out along with the body's tension.

Note -- After a number of sessions, you will probably find that those feelings are not so awful. It may even seem like you are becoming used to them, and you are, but they are also weakening.

And because you are facing what you do not want to face and feeling what you do not want to feel, you are growing stronger.

3.) Out in the world, give yourself permission to be that way, to be imperfect, and yes, to be uncomfortable. Ignoring, disguising or hiding that part only leaves us stuck at the same level of self-acceptance/self-esteem.

Faster?

You can weaken those negative feelings sooner by feeling them without words. Both words and thoughts dilute emotional release.

After a few seconds of intense feeling, your mind will probably skip away into thoughts; gently bring yourself back to the emotions (which also brings you back to increasing your inner strength).

Consistency is the key. Use the mirror at the same time(s) each day, like right after a shower, tying your shoes, or before breakfast.

And if you find yourself forgetting or quitting, push yourself back to the mirror (to keep increasing your inner strength). And you will (bit by bit), no matter how it feels.

You can also look forward to that miraculous day when you notice that part of you or realize someone is judging that part and find yourself not feeling negative or defensive. At that moment, you will know true self-acceptance and the wonder of increased self-esteem, self-confidence and inner strength.

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